Conversations With Dead People
Oct. 31st, 2013 01:14 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
cute_bruiserWhen she opens her eyes, she's sitting on the jetty by the lake, swinging her feet like she used to do when she was little. Nico has her arm slung around her shoulders and Gert's leaning on the post beside them, half an eye on Old Lace just out of sight. It's summer; LA golden and glowing the way the movies never ever get quite right.
Summer in LA: tangerine sweet.
"Oh," she says stupidly, and smiles. "But you're both dead. Aren't you?"
(She hasn't dreamed of Gert, not ever, not even of Chase walking out of a burning building with her in his arms. Once or twice she's dreamed of Nico, but only in rolling-news footage of her death.)
"Pleased to see you too, Bruiser," Gert says dryly, but Nico just hugs her to her side, sister-strong.
"Reports have been greatly exaggerated," she tells her. "I mean, did you see all the times Jean Grey stopped being dead? She was like Jesus, only ginger."
Molly shakes her head, and doesn't laugh, because there are some thoughts she just can't break. "I saw your body, Gert! I saw -"
She stops, because she can't say it. Still.
"Yeah, sorry about that." Gert rolls her eyes. "That boy of mine was never all that good in a crisis. Do him a favour and tell him to get over me already, will you, kid? Because someone has to, and at this stage it's not likely to be me."
"This is a dream, isn't it?" she says, because she can feel the sun in her face and in a dream you are allowed these strange, disjointed conversations. "You're not real."
"Well, it's a dream," Nico admits, giving her the oddest look: half wistful, half something Molly can't identify and isn't sure she wants to. "But why should that mean it's not real?"
Now she does laugh, sounding more bitter than she'd like. "Shut up, doofus. You're not Dumbledore."
"You should see her with a beard," mutters Gert, as Nico gives Molly a serious look.
"No, I'm not Dumbledore," she says. "But I am still your sister, Moll. Whatever happens."
She can't look at her, can't look at either of them, and the lake is too bright. "No, you're not." She's forcing the words out like bullets under her skin. "Because you're dead, Nico, I saw it on TV. Because you're dead, and I ran away and let you die." She takes a deep, choking breath. "I let you all die."
She thinks she should be crying, but she can't; she thinks she might choke on the truth and knows she'd deserve it if she did. Gert died rescuing her and Nico and Vic and Xavin died because she ran away and left them; this is her truth, and she might as well get used to it.
Nico and Gert are hugging her now, both together, the way she remembers them doing just once, the night they first got split up. When they were little, and Captain America was still alive to be a jerk to them, and things were simple, and they still thought everything could be okay again some day.
And she's still not crying, though she thinks maybe she should be. She doesn't deserve this, doesn't deserve to even dream about their forgiveness, but nor can she bear to let them go.
"You are our sister," Gert tells her, absolute. "Even when you're being an idiot."
"You were doing your job, Moll," Nico says, as if that somehow makes it better, makes the choice she made the right one. "They were your responsibilty to keep safe, and you did it. What happened in New York wasn't your fault."
"Really." She can't stop clinging to them, but she knows that they're wrong. That this must be a dream, because if it was real they wouldn't forgive her like this. "I ran away and left you, but it wasn't my fault?"
"D'uh." Gert rolls her eyes ostentatiously, tossing her purple hair. "Unless you have something seriously major to tell us, I'm pretty certain it's Magneto who bears full responsibility for destroying New York in general and the Avengers in particular."
"I made my own choice," Nico reminds her. "Just like Gert did, and just like Vic and Xavin did. We knew what could happen, and we chose to do it anyway."
Molly makes herself smile, like she really believes them. Believes this isn't a dream, and that she can be forgiven. "Where are Vic and Xavin, anyway? If this is my dead-people dream, I mean."
"What, like all of a sudden we're not enough for you?" Gert teases, but she adds, "E.T. had somewhere else to be tonight, sorry."
Nico slides an arm around both her sisters' shoulders. "As for Victor? Well, it's a funny story..."
When Molly wakes up, it is very nearly a whole five minutes before she realises she's once again alone.
Summer in LA: tangerine sweet.
"Oh," she says stupidly, and smiles. "But you're both dead. Aren't you?"
(She hasn't dreamed of Gert, not ever, not even of Chase walking out of a burning building with her in his arms. Once or twice she's dreamed of Nico, but only in rolling-news footage of her death.)
"Pleased to see you too, Bruiser," Gert says dryly, but Nico just hugs her to her side, sister-strong.
"Reports have been greatly exaggerated," she tells her. "I mean, did you see all the times Jean Grey stopped being dead? She was like Jesus, only ginger."
Molly shakes her head, and doesn't laugh, because there are some thoughts she just can't break. "I saw your body, Gert! I saw -"
She stops, because she can't say it. Still.
"Yeah, sorry about that." Gert rolls her eyes. "That boy of mine was never all that good in a crisis. Do him a favour and tell him to get over me already, will you, kid? Because someone has to, and at this stage it's not likely to be me."
"This is a dream, isn't it?" she says, because she can feel the sun in her face and in a dream you are allowed these strange, disjointed conversations. "You're not real."
"Well, it's a dream," Nico admits, giving her the oddest look: half wistful, half something Molly can't identify and isn't sure she wants to. "But why should that mean it's not real?"
Now she does laugh, sounding more bitter than she'd like. "Shut up, doofus. You're not Dumbledore."
"You should see her with a beard," mutters Gert, as Nico gives Molly a serious look.
"No, I'm not Dumbledore," she says. "But I am still your sister, Moll. Whatever happens."
She can't look at her, can't look at either of them, and the lake is too bright. "No, you're not." She's forcing the words out like bullets under her skin. "Because you're dead, Nico, I saw it on TV. Because you're dead, and I ran away and let you die." She takes a deep, choking breath. "I let you all die."
She thinks she should be crying, but she can't; she thinks she might choke on the truth and knows she'd deserve it if she did. Gert died rescuing her and Nico and Vic and Xavin died because she ran away and left them; this is her truth, and she might as well get used to it.
Nico and Gert are hugging her now, both together, the way she remembers them doing just once, the night they first got split up. When they were little, and Captain America was still alive to be a jerk to them, and things were simple, and they still thought everything could be okay again some day.
And she's still not crying, though she thinks maybe she should be. She doesn't deserve this, doesn't deserve to even dream about their forgiveness, but nor can she bear to let them go.
"You are our sister," Gert tells her, absolute. "Even when you're being an idiot."
"You were doing your job, Moll," Nico says, as if that somehow makes it better, makes the choice she made the right one. "They were your responsibilty to keep safe, and you did it. What happened in New York wasn't your fault."
"Really." She can't stop clinging to them, but she knows that they're wrong. That this must be a dream, because if it was real they wouldn't forgive her like this. "I ran away and left you, but it wasn't my fault?"
"D'uh." Gert rolls her eyes ostentatiously, tossing her purple hair. "Unless you have something seriously major to tell us, I'm pretty certain it's Magneto who bears full responsibility for destroying New York in general and the Avengers in particular."
"I made my own choice," Nico reminds her. "Just like Gert did, and just like Vic and Xavin did. We knew what could happen, and we chose to do it anyway."
Molly makes herself smile, like she really believes them. Believes this isn't a dream, and that she can be forgiven. "Where are Vic and Xavin, anyway? If this is my dead-people dream, I mean."
"What, like all of a sudden we're not enough for you?" Gert teases, but she adds, "E.T. had somewhere else to be tonight, sorry."
Nico slides an arm around both her sisters' shoulders. "As for Victor? Well, it's a funny story..."
When Molly wakes up, it is very nearly a whole five minutes before she realises she's once again alone.
